Expectation vs Reality

When that pregnancy test line returns with a plus sign or the words pregnant on the screen unless you are trying to conceive it’s a bit of a shock. I had no idea that I was pregnant or even having pregnancy symptoms. One day when I came home from work, I told my partner that I was not feeling well and after listing off each illness I was feeling his exact words were, “Trice you sure you’re not pregnant.” He told me everything I listed off sounded like a pregnancy symptom and he would know because he had three children from previous relationships. My eyes bucked open as I really thought about it and I got nervous. I laughed it off on the outside while in the inside I was running through the symptoms in my head and comparing them to everything I’d ever read or heard about pregnancy symptoms. Then I realized I might be pregnant.

 My immediate thought was to look at when was my last period and go to the store to get a test. After looking at my period calendar I realized oh snap!!! I missed my period almost two weeks ago. Man, o man was my mind on a roll now and being the type of person, I am I had to go get a pregnancy test at that moment. So, I ran to the store and bought one cheap dollar store tests and two expensive tests. Got back home read all the instructions (bc that’s what you’re supposed to do right lol… I know I know imma dork) and noticed it stated I’d get a more accurate result if I waited to test using first thing after I’d woken up in the morning. Well I couldn’t wait so I went ahead with the cheap dollar store test first. Of course, I pee’d too much on the first one and drowned it so I had to open the second one the clear blue test. So, I pee’d and waited the allotted amount of time. At first the test only showed one line, but something told me to leave it and come back again. So, boom there’s a plus sign. Like what? Huh?! But for some reason I still don’t trust this one test so now I’ve got to anxiously wait until morning to take the other test so I can get confirmation. Next morning first thing I do is wake up and take this test and it shows positive almost instantly. Yall I’m pregnant.

 All this to say I was pregnant. We’d lost a baby in November of 2017, so I was freaking out. Now to tell my partner and get to the doctor. Was I nervous? Yes, we weren’t married, and we weren’t planning to make a baby, but the man above seemed to have other plans. It was an easy conversation that I think he may have been expecting since he suggested I might be pregnant. We discussed our options and decided that we wanted to have this baby. The problem was I had certain expectations I thought and still feel are just a normal part of bringing new life into the world.

 

EXPECTATION: He’d be at EVERY SINGLE dr appointment and ultrasound to check on his baby just like I wanted to.

REALITY: He had to work and even though I scheduled most appointments on his off days some I couldn’t so he would try to make it but couldn’t.

 

EXPECTATION: I expected things to be like what you watch on tv. When I was sick, I expected him to be there and help. When I was hungry, I expected him to rush to me with food.

REALITY: He had other obligations as well and we didn’t live together so he couldn’t always get to me.

 

EXPECTATION: I had was he would be the one that would drive me to the hospital.

REALITY: His phone was dead when I was attempting to call him, so he didn’t see me calling at five in the morning.

Was I upset? Extremely. Was there anything I could do at that moment besides drive to his house myself at act a fool? No unfortunately there was not.

 

EXPECTATION: My boyfriend would be there for the birth of his daughter to make sure not only that she was okay especially since she was early but that the mother of his child who was risking her life was okay too.

REALITY: He left to go get his other children from daycare because he had had another child just a month earlier that I knew nothing about at this moment, and the mother couldn’t get out to get the other kids. Yeah you read that right. A month earlier my supposed to be boyfriend had another baby and I knew nothing of it. I didn’t find out until my daughter was around 2-3 months old. (We’ll talk more about this later)

 

EXPECTATION: He would stay at the hospital with me to allow me to get some rest after having just pushed out our child and also he would take off at least a week or two to help me get acclimated and assist around the house.

REALITY: He’d just had another new baby and he was trying to live two lives, so he didn’t do this.

 

Life is not always what we expect it to be and sometimes that works out for the best and sometimes it’s devastating. For me a lot of this process was devastating because I had just had a baby and I never imagine I’d be going through any situation such as this one. It was so unexpected but when life gives you lemons you make lemonade. So, what was your expectations during pregnancy and did things work out like expected or did you have some bumps in the road also? Comment below and tell me about your experience.

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